As I have mentioned before, in a previous blog post, it was my mother who brought it to my attention that my ex-husband was a narcissist.

I understood the behaviour I was being subjected to was abusive, I knew I was feeling low all the time and walking on egg shells but I didn’t understand the gravity of the situation I found myself in.

Many of you will not have people to bring this your attention. If I hadn’t started disclosing to my Mum that I was being hurt and the intricacies of what was happening, it may never have been something I had considered.

These are some of the things I would be looking out for now.

• They appear so charismatic in public, yet behind closed doors, they are a different person.
• You feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
• You feel like the love you had at the beginning of the relationship has gone. (You were love bombed)
• You have lost your sense of identity; everything you do is to please them.
• They talk about themselves a lot. They hog the conversation and subsequently sulk when the conversation is not centred on them.
• They lack in sympathy and empathy for others. In public, they may be the hero when they see an emergency situation, but in general life, they do not have empathy for others.
• They tease you, pick on you, name call. They may say this is just ‘a laugh/a joke’, but it is repeated and doesn’t change even if you bring it to their attention ( You may be called too sensitive/ over reacting )
• They gas light you. This is incredibly serious and damaging and I will do a whole post on this. They ultimately make you question your own reality and observation of events.
• They may apologise, but often not. They may also apologise, but ultimately, all issues are your fault .
• They may be physically abusive. They may not be, but they could be volatile and create a huge blowout/argument.

There are so many more I could write about, but these are some of the things.

Sadly, by the time you have entered in to a relationship with a narcissist, you may be past the love bombing phase and be too deep with the person to know how to get out.

In addition, they may gush about you and your relationship on social media, which may make you believe that your relationship is absolutely fine. Do not believe the ‘smoke screen’. Remember, the narcissist wants to be seen by the outside world as an absolutely amazing person and partner. If you shatter that illusion in any way, expect the wrath of the unpredictable person you are with.